The pleated and plaid school-girl skirt: easy access, naughty, and irresistible.  No wonder fraternities enjoy being host to these themed parties.  Adding a dress code to a party is a delightful tactic to making fantasies come true.  Big shot CEOs invite all sex-crataries to pull him by his professional tie onto the dance floor.  Then it is time to get down and dirty for a jungle fever party.  A barely existing loin cloth and messy leaf ridden hair is a great way to swing.  Toga parties are classic.  The wonders of a bed sheet transform us all into Aphrodite’s’ and Hercules’.  We are all proud and guilty of getting into the spirit at at least one time or another.

One of my most interesting costumes was inspired by an, ‘Anything But Clothes’ party.  Called ABC parties for short, the object is to literally wear anything ranging from a potato sack to a caution cone.  If taken to the point, then going naked is also an option.  Feeling creative, I sacrificed my Twister board into a skirt.  The top was a bubble tape bustier and I was about the hottest bum around.  Throughout the party, people felt the need to play the actual twister game by putting their hand on my derriere as they apparently spun, “right hand red.” Fun, but wear at your own risk.

Later that night, I discovered that the ABC party theme is better than what any school girl party had to offer.  Tipsy from vats of red jungle juice, my date and I returned home to find that I was stuck in my twister geared costume.  Practically in panic to set me free, he used all his might to rip apart the bubble tape.  The pop-pop-popping sounded like a bullet proof vest was being put to the test.  As amusing as it was, the merciless tearing was a turn on.  Now I know what Ludacris was talking about when he said, “Rip the pants and rip the shirt, ruff sex make it hurt.”

Nancy on a theme:

It is interesting to note that the first time I met Carly in a non-calculus setting, it was at said school girl party. It is also interesting, but not exactly surprising that I watched her skirt fall off at least two times. Luckily she was wearing a conservative pair of white granny panties so no worries on the wardrobe malfunction.

I myself kind of love a theme party. Though I would never have a story about a boy ripping my bubble wrap bustier off in a fit of passion (does this stuff really happen to people?!) I am much more likely to go too far on a theme than not enough. Have you ever noticed that when you feel silly before you leave for a party you always wish you wore just one more layer of random stuff to make it a tiny bit funnier? Rule of theme party dressing: commit! And don’t even look back.

Themed parties are like acting in your own personal movie. You can become whoever you want with enough courage and sheer stupidity. For instance, observe the newest and soon to be oldest phenomenon: the Jersey Shore themed party. I was pretty excited about this so out came the cut up shirt, push up bra, teased hair, sparkly shorts, and yes… spray tan. I told you I commit. The next day one of my sisters told me at lunch that some of the boys we were with that night caught sight pictures and were literally staring at them minutes at a time, in awe of the trashy orange sex kitten I had become that night. I would be hesitant to believe this except for the fact that I literally received texts from one of them commending me on my efforts. How many times have you been approached the day after a party and been given accolades? Thought so. In conclusion, take the costume one step too far and then leap.